Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Taylor Swift's Stage Malfunction
Apparently there's a video going around the web of Taylor Swift having a dress malfunction on stage during one of her concerts. A brush of wind went under her dress and the front row got a special show, but that's not the kicker ladies and gentlemen. She didn't show her tities, pussy, or ass(well it does involved her butt). She wore GRANNY PANTIES!!!. PADDED GRANNY PANTIES!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY!!!! Bitch should be ashamed of herself come the fuck on. White girls if you ever want a big ass EAT!!!!!!!!! In case some guy comes up to you looking at your ass and in his mind he's like "I'm going to play with that ass tonight" End up going to her place for some coffee and biscuits takes off her panties, turns out she ain't got no ass and she wore that padded shit to fool a motherfucker who's probably going to jack off at some porn site or those bra infomercials. I also found out that Pippa Middleton ass is also padded. I had fantasies about you bitch! Fooling the world with your fake ass. You just wanted the spotlight because you're sister is going to be Queen of England someday. Point to this story is people granny panties are bad, but padded granny panties are EVIL!!!
Saturday, August 6, 2011
New Spider-Man Rant
Ok, I just read this article about the "Passing of the Mantle" or the "Changing of the Guard" of Spider-Man. Nothing wrong with that unless you want to count that he's biracial. Meet Mile Morelas, Ladies and Gentlemen who is half black and half latino(a good combination if you ask me, a bit of fire and a bit of FU) he's taken Peter Parker's place as your neighborhood friendly Spider-Man. But don't freight, Peter Parker is still alive in the Ultimate Universe this is just the standard universe or Earth 1 Spidey we're talking about. Now this has generated ALOT of concern to the loyal comic book fans of Marvel. Basically saying that Peter Parker is and forever will be Spider-Man, this is coming from whites, blacks, and....biracials. Personally I feel kinda mix: 1 Peter Parker IS Spider-Man 2 I'm all for ethnic superheroes, I feel like there's not enough of them. Having a biracial Spider-Man taking center stage who may open doors for more ethnic superheroes to come out of the woodwork. Hell, they made me question there choice to play Susan Storm in the Fantastic 4 movie with Jessica Alba(who is Latino) playing the role and Chris Evens(Cap) as Johnny her brother. Either mommy was sleeping or daddy's been fucking. IDK! Just don't get too carried away Marvel.
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Rambo-The Animated Series.....WTF!!!!
1982 brought us one of the great action/survivor movies of all time, First Blood starring Sylvester Stallone as bad ass green beret John Rambo. After the release of the sequel, Rambo: First Blood Part II. Animation company Ruby-Spears who create such classics like Alvin and the Chipmunks, Thundarr the Barbarian, Mister T, and The Centurions thought that they can popularize the acclaim success of the movies in the realm of children's programming..WTF?!?! Have these guys seen the movies? They're fuckin' violent. And the character of John Rambo is TRAGIC!! Let me sum up the first movie for ya. He comes home, see's a friend but find out that he died months ago, had a disagreement with the local authorities that ended up harassing him, Rambo kills them all woodland style, almost destroys the town, calms down and cries in front of his superior, gets arrested end of story. And they made this into a fuckin cartoon for kids. Well, shall we begin.
The series was called Rambo: The Force of Freedom. You can find a few episodes on YouTube, but today I'm just going to talk about the first episode entitled First Strike. The episode starts off by an invasion in a fictional Latin American village called Terra Libre lead my General Warhawk who is the main baddie and his band of security guard rejects. They come in tanks blazing, burning down houses, knocking people on there asses. Very intense shit for a kiddie show. This brings interest to the United States and we like to be involved in EEEEVERYTHING and they send in Rambo to bring down the terrorist army. When we get introduce to our main character, we see Rambo lying on a book with a book over his face. I hope that the book was entitled War and Peace, because this is bullshit. Rambo wouldn't be lying on a boat with a book over his face. Rambo would be in the woods covered in leaves, be on top of a tree branch armed with his knife, landing on a deer gutting the poor bastard. but no a helicopter woke his ass up telling him "Your Country Needs You!" And this is the same country that when he went ape-shit he ends up arrested. LOL :) Then we meet up with Rambo partner Turbo a Formula 1 driver, mechanic, and the token black guy. I know this shit is totally fantasy. THERE NO NIGGAS IN NASCAR OR FORMULA 1 in that matter. When we drive we don't drive in fuckin circles. When we drive we're gone! Plus, it's one of the few only sports the White Man has left. And then there's the master of disguise named Cat. They might as well called her Pussy cuz that's what she was the Token Pussy. The looks on the guys faces were predicable. Turbo was like "nigga, I got next,"
So they all went down to Terra Libre and go to down on the bad guys, and this is where this show shows it's colors on how stupid it is. Rambo single handily takes out some guys with rifles and didn't take there weapons. Bull----Shit!!! Rambo would've taken out his knife spattered the guy's guts on the ground takes his rifle and shots the other guy. And then Rambo takes a tank and starts to play chicken with another tank. This is where they got an idea for a action sequence for Rambo III. Rambo 1 tank 0. So after taking out more bad guys and a lot of shit talking. The only way to stop General Warhawk is to destroy a bridge with a tank. God these people love tanks. Warpath from Transformers would be proud. I don't know who played Rambo in this, but his voice sounds retarded. They should've had Sly do this after all it's his character. And every time General Trougton says Rambo it's like Raaambo which sounds kinda silly. Even the movie theme is in this by Jerry Goldsmith. That's the one good thing about this show.
And after all of that crap, there was also a toyline. Like most shows from the 80s, 30min toy commercials. That's what this was. Would I recommend this for someone? If they're a fan of Rambo from the films, fuck no. But if you want a small piece of nostalgia you can stomach a few episodes. View at your own risk. But hopefully there won't be nothing like this again. Taking a really good movie with a very good story and some animation company want to kiddie grade it. I WAS WRONG!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_tRjuiObl4
The series was called Rambo: The Force of Freedom. You can find a few episodes on YouTube, but today I'm just going to talk about the first episode entitled First Strike. The episode starts off by an invasion in a fictional Latin American village called Terra Libre lead my General Warhawk who is the main baddie and his band of security guard rejects. They come in tanks blazing, burning down houses, knocking people on there asses. Very intense shit for a kiddie show. This brings interest to the United States and we like to be involved in EEEEVERYTHING and they send in Rambo to bring down the terrorist army. When we get introduce to our main character, we see Rambo lying on a book with a book over his face. I hope that the book was entitled War and Peace, because this is bullshit. Rambo wouldn't be lying on a boat with a book over his face. Rambo would be in the woods covered in leaves, be on top of a tree branch armed with his knife, landing on a deer gutting the poor bastard. but no a helicopter woke his ass up telling him "Your Country Needs You!" And this is the same country that when he went ape-shit he ends up arrested. LOL :) Then we meet up with Rambo partner Turbo a Formula 1 driver, mechanic, and the token black guy. I know this shit is totally fantasy. THERE NO NIGGAS IN NASCAR OR FORMULA 1 in that matter. When we drive we don't drive in fuckin circles. When we drive we're gone! Plus, it's one of the few only sports the White Man has left. And then there's the master of disguise named Cat. They might as well called her Pussy cuz that's what she was the Token Pussy. The looks on the guys faces were predicable. Turbo was like "nigga, I got next,"
So they all went down to Terra Libre and go to down on the bad guys, and this is where this show shows it's colors on how stupid it is. Rambo single handily takes out some guys with rifles and didn't take there weapons. Bull----Shit!!! Rambo would've taken out his knife spattered the guy's guts on the ground takes his rifle and shots the other guy. And then Rambo takes a tank and starts to play chicken with another tank. This is where they got an idea for a action sequence for Rambo III. Rambo 1 tank 0. So after taking out more bad guys and a lot of shit talking. The only way to stop General Warhawk is to destroy a bridge with a tank. God these people love tanks. Warpath from Transformers would be proud. I don't know who played Rambo in this, but his voice sounds retarded. They should've had Sly do this after all it's his character. And every time General Trougton says Rambo it's like Raaambo which sounds kinda silly. Even the movie theme is in this by Jerry Goldsmith. That's the one good thing about this show.
And after all of that crap, there was also a toyline. Like most shows from the 80s, 30min toy commercials. That's what this was. Would I recommend this for someone? If they're a fan of Rambo from the films, fuck no. But if you want a small piece of nostalgia you can stomach a few episodes. View at your own risk. But hopefully there won't be nothing like this again. Taking a really good movie with a very good story and some animation company want to kiddie grade it. I WAS WRONG!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_tRjuiObl4
Toddler's and Tiaras Rant
I can see why Joel Mchale disses the show Toddler's and Tiaras on The Soup.The show is ridiculous, the poor little girls look inhuman like Hedi Montag Frankenstain monster inhuman. They look totally wrong. Why does this show show the swimsuit part? Hell why do pageants for little girls even have a swimsuit part. WTF America? This is porn for a pedophile!! I hate to predict the future for these girls but somebody gotta give the wake up call.
1. Stripper Pole
2. Sexually Damaged
3. Emotionally Damaged(Daddy Issues mostly)
4.Kidnapped or Missing
5.Closet Bitch
6.Queen Bitch
7.Dead Bitch
8.Possibly Future Miss America
And I see a Mom of a contestant and this little bitch want to yell at her Mom and slap her. Mom don't want to do nothing about it thinks it's a phase. Phase my big ass, her little ass be on the floor if she want to act ugly. That's some ol' bullshit, like this show. This show is fucking stupid. WHY?? Let your kids be kids not parading them looking like Bratz dolls and end up on the 6 o clock news and two weeks later being chopped to pieces inside a black hefty bag. Not saying that kiddie pageants are wrong but some people have to draw the line of what's appropriate and what's not. At the end of the day it boils down to two things: Pride and Money.
1. Stripper Pole
2. Sexually Damaged
3. Emotionally Damaged(Daddy Issues mostly)
4.Kidnapped or Missing
5.Closet Bitch
6.Queen Bitch
7.Dead Bitch
8.Possibly Future Miss America
And I see a Mom of a contestant and this little bitch want to yell at her Mom and slap her. Mom don't want to do nothing about it thinks it's a phase. Phase my big ass, her little ass be on the floor if she want to act ugly. That's some ol' bullshit, like this show. This show is fucking stupid. WHY?? Let your kids be kids not parading them looking like Bratz dolls and end up on the 6 o clock news and two weeks later being chopped to pieces inside a black hefty bag. Not saying that kiddie pageants are wrong but some people have to draw the line of what's appropriate and what's not. At the end of the day it boils down to two things: Pride and Money.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
The Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy(2005) Review
What book in the history of the universe is more important then the Encyclopedia of Britannica and more cheaper then the volume of books based upon philosophical theories of the existence of God? The Hitchhicker's Guide to the Galaxy of course. Starring Martin Freeman, Mos Def, Sam Rockwell, Zooey Deschanel, and the voice of Alan Rickman as the most pathetic robot to be put on the big screen. Based upon the widely acclaimed book by Douglas Adams, it's one big satire of science fiction and religion. I would put this between the Holy Bible and Stephen King's Salem's Lot. The book is that good and I recommend those who are reading this review to go read the book. Know that this is the second attempt that the book has been put on the screen, which the first version aired in the UK in 1981. It's ok, but it's 1981 visual effects were at it's infancy so it's very very cheesy. But will this review fare better then it's predecessor? Don't Panic, we're about to find out.
As most good movies we start off with a musical number which doubles as a warning from dolphins which was misinterpreted as a triple back-flip through a hula-hoop among vast spectators at SeaWorld. The warning was simple, "Your world is about to be destroyed. We're sorry. But, thanks for all the fish," Then we get introduced to our main character Arthur Dent played by Freeman as our narrator simply describes him as "This is a Man," Who's house is about to be demolished so that the local government could build a expressway or freeway if you're American. Then we meet Authur's bff, Ford Prefect played by Mos Def who happens to be an alien from the Beetle-juice Galaxy. He takes Arthur to a pub or bar if you're American and tells him to drink as much beer as possible and that the Earth is about to be destroyed. And Arthur's like "you're bullshitting," So after consuming beer and nuts the two leave the bar with one of the patrons asking:
"Is the world going to end?"
"Yes," Ford answered.
"Should we put bags over our head or something?"
"If you want,"
"Would it help?"
Stands by the door and thought for a quick moment. "No," That shit is hilarious putting bag over your heads won't do jack shit.
Then all of these lego blocks start to cover the entire planet and we see a giant mouth saying that they apologize for the inconvenience, but our planet was under demolition order 50 years prior and if we had any issues to visit our local galactic magistrate. I didn't know we had one, DID YOU? So Arthur and Ford hitchhike on one of the lego block ships to skip the destruction of Earth. Now this is where the fun begins.
It turns out that the lego ships belong to the Vogons, big green slimy aliens that have no creativity(there poetry sucks), wear business suits, and must sign off on everything! Got to use hyperspeed to pursuit the target, sign. Release a prisoner, sign. I really need to take a piss, SIGN!! And there shock-troopers look like gimps, which makes me question if there not creative per say in public may be in private. Where they secretly experiment with S&M. Hell, they're aliens it may be something completly different for them. After being interrogated and thrust out of an airlock, Arthur and Ford get picked up by Zephod and Trillia( love interest to Arthur and who doesn't know that her own planet was gone) played by Rockwell and Deschanel. As they embark on a quest to find the Ultimate Answer to the Ultimate Question, and to do this they must go to a far away planet to speak to Deep Thought.
Out of this rag-tag crew only two stand alone with there wise-crack corniness and it's sad input on life: The Ship's Computer and Marvin the Robot. The Ship's Computer sounded like a game show host and Marvin who is so sad and depress makes me want to give him a hug, pat him on his head, and hand him a 12 gauge. Both when the computer talks and Marvin on screen, I have a blast.
Although some scenes may be a bit slow and tasteless at times, it's a overall good,funny, and entertaining film. I recommend this film to anybody. Nothing good on cable, pop this in dvd player. If you're a geek and your girlfriend or boyfriend is a geek, you won't be disappointed. Hell, you might get some. I would also note that Douglas Adams wrote some episodes for Doctor Who in the Tom Baker(the Fourth Doctor) era. Even part of writing The Five Doctors miniseries. So if you're into the boy in the blue box, check it out. But most importantly, read the book! I just hope that they do Starship Titanic someday another good DA book too and sequel to HGG. Well that's all for now, till next time. So long, and thanks for all the fish.
As most good movies we start off with a musical number which doubles as a warning from dolphins which was misinterpreted as a triple back-flip through a hula-hoop among vast spectators at SeaWorld. The warning was simple, "Your world is about to be destroyed. We're sorry. But, thanks for all the fish," Then we get introduced to our main character Arthur Dent played by Freeman as our narrator simply describes him as "This is a Man," Who's house is about to be demolished so that the local government could build a expressway or freeway if you're American. Then we meet Authur's bff, Ford Prefect played by Mos Def who happens to be an alien from the Beetle-juice Galaxy. He takes Arthur to a pub or bar if you're American and tells him to drink as much beer as possible and that the Earth is about to be destroyed. And Arthur's like "you're bullshitting," So after consuming beer and nuts the two leave the bar with one of the patrons asking:
"Is the world going to end?"
"Yes," Ford answered.
"Should we put bags over our head or something?"
"If you want,"
"Would it help?"
Stands by the door and thought for a quick moment. "No," That shit is hilarious putting bag over your heads won't do jack shit.
Then all of these lego blocks start to cover the entire planet and we see a giant mouth saying that they apologize for the inconvenience, but our planet was under demolition order 50 years prior and if we had any issues to visit our local galactic magistrate. I didn't know we had one, DID YOU? So Arthur and Ford hitchhike on one of the lego block ships to skip the destruction of Earth. Now this is where the fun begins.
It turns out that the lego ships belong to the Vogons, big green slimy aliens that have no creativity(there poetry sucks), wear business suits, and must sign off on everything! Got to use hyperspeed to pursuit the target, sign. Release a prisoner, sign. I really need to take a piss, SIGN!! And there shock-troopers look like gimps, which makes me question if there not creative per say in public may be in private. Where they secretly experiment with S&M. Hell, they're aliens it may be something completly different for them. After being interrogated and thrust out of an airlock, Arthur and Ford get picked up by Zephod and Trillia( love interest to Arthur and who doesn't know that her own planet was gone) played by Rockwell and Deschanel. As they embark on a quest to find the Ultimate Answer to the Ultimate Question, and to do this they must go to a far away planet to speak to Deep Thought.
Out of this rag-tag crew only two stand alone with there wise-crack corniness and it's sad input on life: The Ship's Computer and Marvin the Robot. The Ship's Computer sounded like a game show host and Marvin who is so sad and depress makes me want to give him a hug, pat him on his head, and hand him a 12 gauge. Both when the computer talks and Marvin on screen, I have a blast.
Although some scenes may be a bit slow and tasteless at times, it's a overall good,funny, and entertaining film. I recommend this film to anybody. Nothing good on cable, pop this in dvd player. If you're a geek and your girlfriend or boyfriend is a geek, you won't be disappointed. Hell, you might get some. I would also note that Douglas Adams wrote some episodes for Doctor Who in the Tom Baker(the Fourth Doctor) era. Even part of writing The Five Doctors miniseries. So if you're into the boy in the blue box, check it out. But most importantly, read the book! I just hope that they do Starship Titanic someday another good DA book too and sequel to HGG. Well that's all for now, till next time. So long, and thanks for all the fish.
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