Twilight....Fuck You

Ever since Buffy The Vampire Slayer debuted in the mid-90s, the vampire phenomenon was on a all time high. Literally turning the classical look and feel of a nocturnal creature into a fucking wild beast. And in 2008, the vampire crazed was revamped again to what I call, "A Raping of the Entire Genre," Yes, I'm going to speak a bit about the bastard that is Twilight. Based on the novel of the same name by Stephanie Mayer, it tells the story of a teenage girl named Bella Swan who moves in with her dad in a town called Forks and develops an obsessive relationship for one of her new classmates by the name of Edward Cullen who happens to be a vampire. Knowing that I've read the book before seeing this monstrosity, a vampire attending high school wasn't really a big deal to me nor a being out in sunlight. But when Edward was forced to reveal himself to what he is to Bella and "showed" himself to her. That's when I have a problem. Being a vampire know it all that I am, I know damn well unless you're a master vampire, when sunlight hits you, you're crispy not a fucking disco ball. Apparently these vampires skin have the same likeness as diamonds and can only be killed by ripping them to shreds and burn them. When I read the book, I thought the concept was interesting and far fetched. But, actually seeing it on screen totally change my view making me wonder. If Bram Stoker was still alive, he would of killed Mayer. For taking all the good qualities of a vampire and flushed them down the toilet.Where's his swagger? Where's his compelling dark nature of a predator? Edward Cullen displays none of these things if he does it's barely. Most of the time he keeps himself distant even when he's starts having a relationship with Bella he's very distant and more of a douchebag. Need I say that this guy verbally puts this girl down. Always thinks to her as a stupid, clumsy brad9which she was in some parts). I always wait for him to say, "Bella, I love you....And you look fat," This guy is a total asshole. Then comes Jacob Black, who is a werewolf(technically he's a shapeshifter which is revealed later that there were werewolves , but they're all dead) He's Native American that belongs of a tribe of other werewolves. He was Bella's friend since they were kids and didn't take it likely when she started seeing Edward who knows that he's a vampire. Which brings up another problem I have. Bella Swan is the most dumbest bitch since Lois Lane couldn't find out obviously that Clark Kent is Superman. Jacob offered Bella warmth while Edward offered her eternity(and skin feeling like an ice cube). Any normal girl would have gone with Jacob. He represents a woman's perfect dream. His body is ripped, a perfect smile, is capable of fucking her real good, and turns to a really big dog to cuddle against. But no, she choose douchebag. But later on in the series(yes this is a series), Jacob gets in the family by being the future husband of Bella and Edward half-human daughter! Giving a whole new notion of the phrase "I loved you since the day you were born" And I also read the last book Breaking Dawn, and all I can say is it's a hot mess.

Final thoughts, Twilight has only done one thing: getting teenage girls to read. And what they're reading is complete nonsense. And it's teaching young girls that it is ok for a man to treat you badly, if he looks hot. And ignore the one person who absolutely truly love you. I thought Harry Potter was bad for it's kiddie sorcery crap which all changed starting after The Goblet of Fire. Twilight is bad, I don't consider these vampires as vampires. Just diamond blood demons. Since Twilight, vampires has become a fucking joke. Which all changed recently with a remake of one of the great horror films in the 80's Fright Night, that vampires were predatory seductive killers again.

Superhuman Samurai Syber Squad Rant

Ok, I was going through Hulu right and for some reason I wanted to see an episode of Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors. But Hulu didn't have it but another site similar had some episode so I went to the site and I was like "wow" it had Starcom, Jayce, and a little show called Superhuman Samurai Syber Squad. Holy Shit, I thought I haven't seen this show in years! This site was fucked up because it didn't have all the episodes. So I clicked on a random one and as I started watching it a thought came into my mind: This is fucking Ultraman in a computer!

For those who don't know who or what Ultraman is. Ultraman one of the great properties of Japan that started the whole super-sized good guy fighting monsters gig. This was pre-Power Rangers as it debuted in 1966, and till this day still making a whole lot of money making toys, shows, and movie which the current one Ultraman Zero: The Movie is out. And I must say it's quite good. But back to the point, Superhuman Samurai Syber(Christ are they trying to be hip with the title changing the c in Cyber to an S?)Squad is Ultraman in a computer. Servo the superhuman samurai looks actually like a variant of Ultraman and has his fighting style and powers. Then I found out later 2 things one, that it was produced by Tsuburaya Productions(The same people that did and still are doing Ultraman and I am shocked that they were involved in this monstrosity)and Andy Heyward who is producer/chairman/CEO of DiC(pronounced deek not dick)Entertainment. DiC are responsible for much of the shows from the 80's. Hell they practically own our childhood. They're the makers of: The Real Ghostbusters, Care Bears, Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors, Dennis the Menace, The Littles, Heathcliff, Dinosaucers, Starcom, Captain N and the Game Master, Super Mario Bros. and.........The New Adventures of He-Man(a whole other can of worms I will bring up in the future, lets say they ass-raped the most powerful man in the universe) You want the whole list go to IMDB.com, it's quite a bit.Would I recommend this show, unless you like Matthew Lawrence's(Joey's younger brother) early work then fuck no. This show is kiddie crap weak and if Servo would go against Ultraman Zero, Zero would own his ass.